Chariots of Ire

No brood of vehicle before has been fired upon more often by the slings and arrows of contempt, outrage, and all-consuming hate than that of the SUV.

This tyrannous wreck of the motor-way consummates consumer excess and conspicuous consumption with leg-room to spare. However, even within the cushioned leather seats and easy fold-down third row, nary can be found a justification for its' existence.
For purposes of cartage, nothing can truly beat a pick-up truck. For ample seating and transportation of family and kin, a mini-van or station-wagon would prove more than adequate. Yet it is this strange, puffy and swollen love-child of the two that has captured the imagination and commerce of today's affluent elite.

Vicious anti-environmental ethos aside, the SUV is an obvious culprit in the belching out of climate changing chemicals. Global warming or not, the funneled exhaust from these beasts is far from simply a warm summer's breeze. Classified in the categories of large transport and RV motor-homes, the SUV is not regulated by the same emission controls as that of the average family four-door or hatch-back. Instead, they can easily main-line carbons and carcinogens into the bright blue skies. As for safety requirements and regulations; these wonders of the tarmac roll-over easier than a two digit odometer.

Don't be fooled. Their size is not for driver's safety; their height isn't for increased visibility. These abominable machinations are built with such size and girth so as to comfortably fit the ego and self-importance of their mighty pilots. Their height is to remind the proletarian masses shuttled around them as to who's truly the King of the Road.

It is in my opinion that these off-road vehicles should remain just that; off the road. A menace to an already delicate vehicular ecosystem; they can only wreak havoc on the highway. Should you chance to see one of these creatures at rest, do the world a great service; free the air trapped in their tires. Perhaps then there will be one more breath of fresh air.