[Insert Noun] Rage

Two years ago, a Houston woman drove her car over a McDonald's employee effectively breaking the employee's pelvis. A just retribution for not getting mayonnaise on a cheeseburger, wouldn't you agree?

Too many people today are succumbing to the latest rage of being in a, well, Rage. Being ever-diligent in giving all things a jingoistic title, we now welcome the advent of Air Rage, Road Rage, Consumer Rage, and Employee Rage (a.k.a. Going Postal) just to name a few.

The latter is perhaps the best known as it caught the most media attention from both news organizations and gun lobbyists everywhere. To recap for those who missed the headlines; some years back, a rash of killings erupted from postal offices across America. The event occurred so often, and left such a mark on society, that the term "going postal" entered into the modern lexicon as a term used highlight the possible outcome for stress related situations.

As with all faults of modern society, we have the drivers in the road-warrior of Law to thank for the many added prefixes to 'rage'. Should you disapprove of your in-flight meal, simply cold-cock the flight-attendant and bite a few passengers. Later, at your trial, simply confess that the stress of being in Business Class was too much to bear. All will be forgiven.

People fly off the handle so often that AirMiles is offering reward points. It seems that we collectively have lost the ability to channel our emotions into more constructive paths. Instead of beating the sales clerk unconscious with the barcode scanner, stow your energies away for another purpose. Go home and yell at the houseplants and Tupperware.

If all else fails, retreat to a dirty cabin in the woods and compose darkly ironic poetry. When finished, read it to the small woodland creatures. I'm sure they'll get the subtleties therein.

The next time you're in line at McDonald's and you can't get your McGriddle because it's four minutes past eleven, don't gun down the place. Instead, take a handful of napkins, jam them into your mouth and deeply sob in the corner until you're needed at work.