I Am Job?
Today, the part of the unemployed graphic designer will be played by me.
I've been skimming a slew of job-postings and RSS feeds from Workopolis looking for gainful employment. Aside from banner-ads and Spam-canner there aren't many open positions listed. However, I did find this wonderful posting on Craigslist Toronto:
"We're looking for a web designer to create our corporate website and create some logos. You must be able to create websites at the same quality as Fortune 100 companies. If you don't understand this concept, then don't bother writing us."
I'm not sure if it's the conviction of the writing that impresses me or it's the fact that the author needs to clarify that a designer should be aware of "logos" and "websites". I wonder if the author is also a copywriter.
"Our shampoo will leave your hair feeling silky and smooth. If you don't understand the concept of a more luxurious sheen to your hair, don't bother buying our stuff!" It's gold, baby! Fried Gold!
I think there's a loosely ironic twist in the fact that the person who wrote this clearly doesn't get the concept behind Fortune 100 companies or even business for that matter. Very few companies reach the peaks of the financial landscape on logo and website alone. Well, none that survived the DotCom Bust, that is. The logo and website are merely extensions of the core brand. Anyone who's even waited outside of a marketing class-room knows that.
Success is one part product, one part branding, and one part screwing the customer out of every dollar they have. If you want to get technical you'd also shift around your accounting, find an off-shore bank, and hire foreigners and children to make your crap. The rest of the gaps in this equation you just need to fill with marketing managers, project managers, and people who have mental disease called an MBA.
A logo is just a firm handshake that make people feel all warm about the general idea your advertising represents. A logo has never sold food, shoes, or life insurance. A logo is a breath-mint in the conversation of transactions. Use liberally if you think something smells like shit.
In the end, I'm not applying to this job. I don't want to work somewhere that makes a want-ad sound angry and intimidating. Also, I'd probably get an ulcer repressing the rage and contempt I'd feel for my boss. Well, more than I normally should feel, that is.
I've been skimming a slew of job-postings and RSS feeds from Workopolis looking for gainful employment. Aside from banner-ads and Spam-canner there aren't many open positions listed. However, I did find this wonderful posting on Craigslist Toronto:
"We're looking for a web designer to create our corporate website and create some logos. You must be able to create websites at the same quality as Fortune 100 companies. If you don't understand this concept, then don't bother writing us."
I'm not sure if it's the conviction of the writing that impresses me or it's the fact that the author needs to clarify that a designer should be aware of "logos" and "websites". I wonder if the author is also a copywriter.
"Our shampoo will leave your hair feeling silky and smooth. If you don't understand the concept of a more luxurious sheen to your hair, don't bother buying our stuff!" It's gold, baby! Fried Gold!
I think there's a loosely ironic twist in the fact that the person who wrote this clearly doesn't get the concept behind Fortune 100 companies or even business for that matter. Very few companies reach the peaks of the financial landscape on logo and website alone. Well, none that survived the DotCom Bust, that is. The logo and website are merely extensions of the core brand. Anyone who's even waited outside of a marketing class-room knows that.
Success is one part product, one part branding, and one part screwing the customer out of every dollar they have. If you want to get technical you'd also shift around your accounting, find an off-shore bank, and hire foreigners and children to make your crap. The rest of the gaps in this equation you just need to fill with marketing managers, project managers, and people who have mental disease called an MBA.
A logo is just a firm handshake that make people feel all warm about the general idea your advertising represents. A logo has never sold food, shoes, or life insurance. A logo is a breath-mint in the conversation of transactions. Use liberally if you think something smells like shit.
In the end, I'm not applying to this job. I don't want to work somewhere that makes a want-ad sound angry and intimidating. Also, I'd probably get an ulcer repressing the rage and contempt I'd feel for my boss. Well, more than I normally should feel, that is.
8 Comments:
Hi, I'm not a bot - I'm somebody at home on a Friday night clicking the "next blog" button to find you... if that's any consolation.
I once called a toll-free number in a want-ad... the man in the recording said he was a self-made millionaire who was looking for 15 people for his next big venture, which he didn't describe in the recording. He gave all kinds of reasons why you shouldn't call... if you just want to become a millionaire without working hard, you are afraid of success, etc. Yeah, for a fraction of a second you find yourself thinking "maybe this guy really IS the real deal, and not some fraud". Then you figure either way he is an a**hole annd you wouldn't want to work for him.
Wow,
Thanks Peter.
I think you're the first non-family reader to comment. Very cool.
I've always wondered about those "work at home, earn $400,000 a year" schemes. If they're so effective, why doesn't everyone do it. Secondly, why give away that sort of information?
It seems like wealth isn't necessarily something you'd want everyone to have. It's precisely the gap between rich and poor that defines both of these characteristics.
If everyone was rich, wouldn't we all really be poor? Inflation!
Mike,
I'm not family. I commented on your previous post. It wasn't a relevant comment. It had nothing to do with shit, except that I I liked the bowling site and I liked the old site that you had years ago. But, I'm not family, and I posted before this guy. I'm Craig, I went to Glendale. I was loud, socially mal-adjusted and enjoyed art class. I drew a lot of pictures of skulls and fire. Remember? maybe not...
Craig
Hey Craig,
I remembered you right away.
I meant to comment but forgot.
Thanks for reading my stuff.
Email me with the address in this blog. Then I'll give you my non-spam filter email.
Lookin' forward to hearing from you!
As Coach Z would say, "Good Jeeerrbbbb!"
I guess billion-and-millionaires don't really think what comes of their mouths or hands. At least those that think they are fortune 100/500 calibre. How else could you explain the BS they had to say day in and day out just to con enough people to make him rich? :P
I am not bashing rich people at all. In fact, I know rich people. And I've worked under one. I have come to trust my friend's phrase, 'they can be weird because they can Afford to be.' It's saving more than time for me more than once.
If you are working for a salary, you are working for rich people. That's why I am really fortunate (and I count my blessing everyday) that I work for a rich person with a big company. That way I really don't get to meet him. I'd say that because I used to work where a rich person (i.e. boss) lives upstairs.
Better yet. I am going to get so stinking rich, I can afford to be weird and hand out money to Mike as his salary.
There, better Mike? :)
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
i like this site- lots of rage, and bitterness too.
The corporation itself can often be seen as a person, a fractured, lowest common denominator representation of its governing members. It may have started out as a means of contributing something to the greater good; Unfortunately any ideals will quickly be stripped away by the corporation's primary driving force:The Bottom Line.
MBAs are the Evangelists of the corporation, there to spread its Doctrine and Brand to the masses. They gain comfort, not by thinking of the greater consequence of their actions, but by staying focused on the teaching of their masters so that one day they may ascend the level of Puppeteer.
It's a well oiled machine my friend. The only way to "Reach For Greatness" is to propagate the corporation's logo, product and "Philosohpy"; Thereby ensuring the survival of the machine.
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