Carnage

Cars were created solely with sex in mind. They were designed to get the owner away from home and family so that he/she could finally have sex.

The term "Back-seat Driver" initially carried a totally different connotation for a long while. All was fine until the point at which someone had the misbegotten idea of bringing other passengers along for the drive.

Soon, the world was inundated by wider and longer highways, gift shops and another road-side attraction on every kilometre of your ride.

Cars begat station wagons. Station wagons begat mini-vans. Mini-vans later mutated into the horror now seen as the modern SUV. An abomination of all things vehicular. As efficient and healthy as a coal-powered deep-fryer, the SUV is the lunar rover of the terrestrially grounded Upper-Middle class. A truly bad idea with four-wheel drive.

None of this, mind you, is even comparable to the moron behind the wheel. It is in my opinion that no living creature on this planet can reasonably own, operate, and navigate any motor-vehicle. Though we all possess opposable thumbs, we still lack the ability to properly drive cars. As an alternative to driving, I would like to suggest staying at home, drawing the blinds, and drinking heavily.