Mr. No Pants

I submit to you, gentle reader, that the garment industry today has virtually no idea as to the physiology of a modern male. My evidence? Pants.

The illustration provided (Figure 1.) demonstrates the industry's view of the typical male.

Notice the total lack of hips, pelvis, and crotch. This is helpful in designing the low-rise and slim fit jeans. No ass means the design can flow straight from belt to cuff, all the way around.

Also worthy of note is that the legs are two-dimensional. Perfect for the slim legs and tapered jeans. The foot is the largest part of the human male's legs and therefore only they need to be taken into account. The legs also represent nearly two-thirds of the total height. Plan accordingly!

Finally, notice how cash money virtually shoots forth from the customer. This is a constant state of being for the average male. $250 for "pre-aged" jeans is the working base price for all lower-body apparel.

Okay, so I exaggerate. But honestly, who the Hell are they made for?
And why does that man seemingly need NO room in the crotch?!

Actually, don't answer that.
Just hand my my track pants without laughing.