Take the Wind Out of Their Sales
Okay, so the buying season is in full gear. I'm here to just impart some quick tips on buying tech from a Big-Box. Why? Because I'm currently working retail (don't ask) and I learned a few tips of the trade. Here we go in no particular order.
• U Got No Game: There will be no one to help you in the games, music, or movie sections. These areas pay no commission and actually hurt your sales rating. Most veterans refuse to go near this section or even process them in an order.
• Just Spiffy!: A few items get tagged on occasion with extra commission. For some arcane reason this is called "spiff". This is done by either a manufacturer or the outlet themselves. This means the item the sales guy is really hyping may not actually be the best product for you. It just pays the most that week.
• Extended Finger: Warranties are, if my management is accurate, the ONLY way these companies make any money. At all. Now, some are actually worth it. Cordless phones: Yes. Digital Cameras: ask for a bundle. Get free memory or a case if you buy it.
Otherwise, make them pay. On the second day of the second year, hassle the company for whatever your warranty will allow. Go crazy with it. Just know that you could be out of said product for two months while they evaluate it. The trick is, if everyone were to actually use the warranty at any point, they'd go bankrupt.
It's like the inverse of SPAM. They count on only 2% of the people actually using it. Otherwise, they wouldn't offer it as they'd have to pay out to the tech department or for replacements on everything you have bought from them.
• Anger Management: Two things happen when you ask for a manager. Either she pretends to scold us in front of you and then we laugh at you when you leave. OR... you give her a reason to be a total prick to us for the rest of the week. Neither of them get you your DVD player any cheaper. So just knock it off.
• Self-Help: We're forced to harass you. We obviously know you're just browsing and we feel like a jackass when we have to constantly ask you how you are. Just be polite about. We won't steal your soul if you make eye-contact with us. Just say "Thank You" and we'll both move on.
• Yelling Doesn't Help: We're barely paid enough to be there let alone care. Yelling at us because we don't carry the adapter to your cell-phone won't make it magically appear in our warehouse. We just give you crappy service and bitch about you when you leave.
• The Commish: Yes I'm on commission. Yes I want to sell you stuff. I'm not greedy, I'm just trying to keep this job. Management has a series of magical numbers. If I don't sell those numbers, I get fired. I'm not extra greedy because I work commission. I just have a greedy boss who hates to pay even minimum wage. Don't worry, we both hate me at this point.
That may not be overly helpful but it makes me feel better. I want to go back to freelance work. I may have been whoring myself out, but at least I liked my pimp.
I'm done here.
• U Got No Game: There will be no one to help you in the games, music, or movie sections. These areas pay no commission and actually hurt your sales rating. Most veterans refuse to go near this section or even process them in an order.
• Just Spiffy!: A few items get tagged on occasion with extra commission. For some arcane reason this is called "spiff". This is done by either a manufacturer or the outlet themselves. This means the item the sales guy is really hyping may not actually be the best product for you. It just pays the most that week.
• Extended Finger: Warranties are, if my management is accurate, the ONLY way these companies make any money. At all. Now, some are actually worth it. Cordless phones: Yes. Digital Cameras: ask for a bundle. Get free memory or a case if you buy it.
Otherwise, make them pay. On the second day of the second year, hassle the company for whatever your warranty will allow. Go crazy with it. Just know that you could be out of said product for two months while they evaluate it. The trick is, if everyone were to actually use the warranty at any point, they'd go bankrupt.
It's like the inverse of SPAM. They count on only 2% of the people actually using it. Otherwise, they wouldn't offer it as they'd have to pay out to the tech department or for replacements on everything you have bought from them.
• Anger Management: Two things happen when you ask for a manager. Either she pretends to scold us in front of you and then we laugh at you when you leave. OR... you give her a reason to be a total prick to us for the rest of the week. Neither of them get you your DVD player any cheaper. So just knock it off.
• Self-Help: We're forced to harass you. We obviously know you're just browsing and we feel like a jackass when we have to constantly ask you how you are. Just be polite about. We won't steal your soul if you make eye-contact with us. Just say "Thank You" and we'll both move on.
• Yelling Doesn't Help: We're barely paid enough to be there let alone care. Yelling at us because we don't carry the adapter to your cell-phone won't make it magically appear in our warehouse. We just give you crappy service and bitch about you when you leave.
• The Commish: Yes I'm on commission. Yes I want to sell you stuff. I'm not greedy, I'm just trying to keep this job. Management has a series of magical numbers. If I don't sell those numbers, I get fired. I'm not extra greedy because I work commission. I just have a greedy boss who hates to pay even minimum wage. Don't worry, we both hate me at this point.
That may not be overly helpful but it makes me feel better. I want to go back to freelance work. I may have been whoring myself out, but at least I liked my pimp.
I'm done here.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home