Mayor Dress-Up

In the Megacity of Toronto, the city (or region) of Vaughn has decide that it needs an official dress-code for its' public officials. Here are a few highlights:

These are among the items that would be verboten if the dress code is approved:

• Flip-flops, sport sandals, running shoes, bare feet
• Hats, head coverings (except for safety, religious or medical reasons)
• Ripped, wrinkled, unclean clothing
• Overalls, shorts, sweat pants, spandex, stirrup pants, leggings, jeans
• Muscle shirts, tank tops, halter and tube tops
• Vinyl garments
• Bared midriff, exposed chest, low-cut apparel

What's surprising is that people needed to be told specifically not to wear these items. Clearly, before this move, apparently town meetings were being held at the beach or a laundromat on a Sunday morning.

Muscle shirts and halter tops? WTF? What do their "Dress-down Fridays" look like? Are people showing up high and naked?

I think the general respect for work has gone from absurdly official and stuffy to slovenly and ugly. How hard is it to grab a pair of pressed pants and a buttoned shirt? I've seen old timey movie reels of monkeys wearing bow-ties and tuxedos. Even the hobo down in the train yard manages to match his dead-rat slippers with a dead-raccoon cap.

Have some respect for yourself and the position you hold. You're not farming gold in WoW. You're representing your city as a paid civil servant. Dress like you earned it.

As for me, I'm quite happy coming to work in our ordered apparel. A Panda costume and top hat. With spats!!

I'm done here.

Black and Blue Berry

I've created a new game. I call it "Berry-Blocker".

How you play is you just walk down a city street. Preferably in the tech or biz section of town. As you walk down the street, look for people who have their focus buried in a Blackberry. Thumbs nervously tapping the tiny keyboard. Flicking the centre nub or thumbing the wheel trying to read the latest emails. Brow furrowed as they concentrate all of their vision on a small, tiny screen.

Now walk toward them normally; don't run. Just walk. They'll walk directly towards you, not paying any sort of proper attention. When they're in range, just stand still. Don't do anything.

If you time it right, they'll walk directly into you. BANG! (You must be at least three paces away from the person. Any closer and it's a fault)

"What did you just do?", you will ask.
Apologies will be offered.

Score 10 points. Plus 3 more if they get agitated and angry that you let them walk directly into you.

First player to 50 points wins a free Grande Mocha Frappé Papier Mache Latté from the other player(s).

Now go play in traffic!

Death of a [Terrible] Salesman

Okay, I survived.

I made it out of the nightmare that was Seasonal Sales.
Let us not speak of it again.

End of Chapter Two