A Fact of Matter

If I may be so bold, I would like to teach you all about physics. Not brainy, PhD., mind-bending, through-the-looking glass physics. Just basic, rudimentary, hand-jammed-in-a-car-door physics. You see, most of us are created with matter. Matter is that corporeal stuff that allows you to grab your glass of beer without becoming the beer.

One form matter comes in is called a solid. Solids have a really hard time merging or going-through one another. Solid matter trying to pass through other solid matter is what makes car crashes, televised wrestling, and bar fights so much fun. The matter gets all collide-y or some stuff, bashing into one another. Try it out, throw your fist at your dick with great velocity and you’ll see a collision. Well, just before you pass-out you’ll see a collision.

Our bodies are all mostly made of matter. A great percentage of that matter comes in the form of a solid. As mentioned above, solids have a hard time merging and passing-through one another. That means, when you see me walking along on the street or in a the mall, you can’t walk through me. I don’t care if you’re taller, fatter, or dumber than I am; the fact remains that you cannot walk through me.

So move to the side, jackass and get out of my gawdamn way!